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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671768">From Eden</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyilingmatriarch/pseuds/theyilingmatriarch'>theyilingmatriarch</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Coda, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is Loved, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, First Kiss, Happy Ending, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Let's Unbury Some Gays, M/M, Minor Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, No beta we die on a rusty nail, Post-Canon Fix-It</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:16:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,674</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27671768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyilingmatriarch/pseuds/theyilingmatriarch</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Castiel grips Dean tight and pulls him out of Heaven.</p><p>A coda for 15x20.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>88</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For nearly one year in earthly time, Castiel kept his promise to God. After emptying the Empty and sending it back to sleep, their new Lord had presented the angels and demons with a choice; become human, or forswear engagement with humanity. At long last, morals had gained a semblance of free will, and the young God was keen to preserve it. Most demons unsurprisingly refused purification, and before sending them to Hell, Jack asked them kindly to avoid possession and deal-making with any of his creatures, lest he be forced to smite them. The angels, in turn, were told not to interfere in human affairs or interrupt the course of their lives. Instead they spent their time and energy in reshaping Heaven into a worthy resting place for all departed souls.</p><p>Castiel chose to stay with his brothers and sisters, to be close to Jack. Jack proved to be the just and wise divinity Castiel had always longed for, and had always known Jack could be. He had never expected to return from the vast, hollow darkness to which he had condemned himself, and it seemed pointless returning to Earth as a human now; how could he be of help to the Winchesters without his grace? At least in Heaven, he had a purpose.</p><p>The angels were told to disregard prayers, and for as long as he could, Castiel did. He loved Jack deeply, his once Father and Son, and he did not wish to disobey him. Castiel was not, however, very good at obedience. For millennia he had been Heaven’s faithful soldier, readily and happily following orders, but he would never regain that level of blind faith again. Not after deserting his garrison to fight alongside humans, learning love and goodness and free will, all because of one man. And when Sam’s voice broke into him, bristling with desperation and hope, asking him to <i>please, Cas, you have to save him,</i> there was not even a moment of hesitation. These little heavens that they had built were peaceful, unchanging, and still. Everything Dean Winchester was not. Castiel could not, <i>would not</i> let him die, not before Dean had gotten the chance to truly live, unshackled by Chuck’s cruel designs.</p><p>So he rebelled, again.</p><p></p><div>
  <p> *** </p>
</div><p>Dean woke in a bed. His own, specifically, although it took him a while to orient himself. It was dark in the room, and his mouth felt dry and tasted kind of coppery, but at least he wasn’t spitting gravel and clawing his way up through the dirt of his own grave. He drew a couple of ragged breaths and tried to remember how he got here. Disjointed images burst through his mind. Bobby, his face mysteriously unwrinkled and happy. Baby glinting in the sun, unnaturally polished, wearing her original Kansas plate. Hugging his brother on some nondescript, paradisiacal bridge. Sammy. Dead.</p><p>He sat up with a bolt, crying out at the sudden pain that stabbed through his abdomen, and suddenly remembered the rusted old rebar that had skewered him clean through. Fuck. Heaven wasn’t supposed to hurt, it wasn’t supposed to feel like anything, so why did it feel like his guts had been lit on fire?</p><p>Sam crashed through the door a few moments later, alerted by the noise. Light flooded the room and Dean groaned at the brightness, as if he wasn’t suffering enough already. “Dammit,” he grumbled as his brother sat down at his side, forcing him back into bed with a gentle push on his shoulder.</p><p>“Careful, Dean.” Sam was beaming, despite his admonishment. “You’ve got a hole in your belly, y’know. You’ve gotta lie still or you’re gonna pull your stitches.”</p><p>“What happened?” Dean ground out, still wincing. He began to feel more lucid as the pieces of the fragmented, too-vivid memories started to knit themselves together in his mind. “I take it we’re not in Heaven anymore?”</p><p>Sam raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Um, no, we’re home. It was close there for a second, though. I really thought we’d lost you.” His eyes widened. “Maybe we did. You stopped breathing, but only for like, a second.”</p><p>Dean’s head was spinning. He tried to make sense of what the hell was going on.</p><p>“I guess time works differently in Heaven,” Sam mused thoughtfully. He was investigating the thick bandage fastened below Dean’s ribcage to make sure there was no crimson stain blooming out on the white cloth. “So technically, one second here could be a lot longer there. But why would I be there, though? I didn’t die.”</p><p>“You had grown old,” Dean said with a renewed pang of terror at the thought. “Like, grandpa old. We met on a bridge and we talked.”</p><p>“And then what?”</p><p>“And then… I woke up. Here.”</p><p>“Maybe it was a near-death experience, kind of a light-in-the-tunnel thing?” his brother suggested. “You’ve been feverish since the barn. So it might have been a hallucination or something.”</p><p>“I guess,” Dean said grudgingly. It had not felt like a hallucination. It had felt like the actual, angelic choir, chubby cupids floating by, honest-to-Jack heaven. </p><p>“Or maybe there was some, um, godly intervention. It wouldn’t be the first time, right?”</p><p>“Jack wouldn’t,” Dean objected. “He’s got a hands-off approach, right? Free will and all.”</p><p>“Well, there’s gotta be some perks to being God’s parents, right?” Sam shrugged. “Special life-saving privileges.”</p><p>“Guess so.” Dean swore under his breath as he tried to move and fresh pain shot through him. “Damn, this hurts, Sammy. You’d think it would take more than a rusty nail to take me out, after all we’ve been through.”</p><p>“Well, you’re getting older,” Sam retorted teasingly. “Grandpa old.” He smirked at Dean’s horrified expression and got up to leave. “I’m going to pick up some of that greasy food you like. We’re out of practically everything. Try to get some more rest until I get back. And no more trips to Heaven, all right? I need you here.”</p><p>“No worries.” Dean smiled weakly back at him. “You had me at greasy food. I’m not going anywhere.”</p><p>***</p><p>The recovery was slower than he would have liked, but soon enough Dean was able to make his own burritos and change his own bandages. Sam still fretted, and Eileen kept looking warily at him as if he’d collapse onto the floor anytime he ventured into the kitchen, but it was only a little scrape, for goodness sake. He had survived so much worse.</p><p><i>Only, he hadn’t,</i> a voice kept nagging him. His internal organs had been punctured, his heart had stopped beating, his body had been burned to ash, and Sam and Eileen had lived out their suburban picket fence life without him. So why the hell was he back?</p><p>It wasn’t like his services were required, not anymore. Ever since they defeated Chuck, Jack had cleaned the place up pretty good, wiping most of the supernatural pieces of shit back from whence they came. There were still stragglers around, and Dean and Sam had kept hunting them, but the cases were steadily growing fewer and farther in between. Besides, there were plenty of other hunters doing the good work; Charlie and Stevie, Donna and Jody and the girls. The world didn't really need him to save it anymore.</p><p>Not that Dean wasn’t happy to be back. The beer in Heaven hadn’t really tasted much of anything; maybe in order for something to taste really good, you need the possibility of it tasting like crap. And he hadn’t felt anything, not properly anyway – not even when Bobby had told him that Cas was alive and kicking in Heaven. Well, as alive as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent can be. He and Sam had always figured that Jack would use his omnipotence to save their friend from the Empty, but they hadn’t been sure; neither Jack nor Cas had bothered to answer any of their prayers, after all. Dean had been pleased when Bobby told him that Cas was okay, but it was the same kind of mellow, content happiness that he had felt his whole time in Heaven. Like nothing could really touch him anymore. Like he was at peace with it all.</p><p>But now that Dean had returned to the land of the living, his mind drifted to this piece of information whenever he was alone, mulling over it the way you’d pick on a scab, unable to stop even as it started bleeding. He had only mentioned it once to Sam, who had asked him if he had seen any familiar faces on his visit to the celestial shores – so he told him what Bobby said, about Cas helping Jack fix the place up. “That sounds like Cas, alright,” said Sam with a fond smile. “I knew he was up there. I could feel it.”</p><p>Dean couldn’t feel it, try as he might, and the whole thing was really starting to bug him. Why hadn’t Cas come to see him in Heaven? Dean might only have been there in the blink of an eye, Earth-wise, but it had seemed like long enough, driving around all alone on the same smooth, endless roads, drinking the same mellow beer, waiting for his little brother to kick the bucket. Sure, Cas was busy doing important angelic stuff, but couldn’t he manage to stop his feathery ass by for a quick hello? Or for that matter, bother picking up the goddamn phone anytime he or Sam prayed to him in the year before? The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. By the time he had removed his bandage he was eager to hunt again, just to blow off some steam.</p><p>Since Sam didn’t want him to go out hunting yet, he snuck out alone. It was almost unsportingly easy to gank the demon, and Dean was still thrumming with unspent frustration in the car ride home. When he got back to the bunker, slightly blood-soaked but entirely unharmed, he was surprised when both Sam and Eileen rushed forward to meet him. Sure, he had left without telling them, which was kind of a dick move, but he was evidently fine, so why did they both look so pale?</p><p>“What’s the matter?” Dean asked sharply, instinctively looking around for any looming threats and tightening his grip on his dagger.</p><p>Before either of them could answer him, a familiar, hoarse voice sounded from within the room.</p><p>“Hello, Dean.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Though he would never have admitted it to anybody, Dean felt a little faint. Castiel had entered the hallway and was looking at him guardedly. He wasn’t wearing his beige trenchcoat, or even a suit; instead he was dressed in a regular-looking sweater and jeans, looking so human and so beautiful that it hurt.</p><p>“We’ve got company,” Sam exclaimed to fill the strange, vibrating silence. “Look who dropped in unannounced! One year of radio silence, and then all of a sudden…”</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your prayers, Sam,” Cas interrupted. “There’s a new policy on that.”</p><p>“It’s no matter,” Sam waved it off amicably. “Important to stay on good terms with the new boss, right?”</p><p>“Right.” Cas eyes flickered to Dean, only a moment, then back to Sam.</p><p>Dean still hadn’t moved from his spot near the staircase, and Eileen stepped closer to him, furrowing her brow and asking if he was injured.</p><p>“No, I’m fine,” Dean signed back. He didn’t mention that his heart was beating viciously against his ribs in a decidedly unhealthy manner. There was nothing Eileen could do about that, after all.</p><p>Sam looked from Dean to Castiel to Eileen, an unreadable expression on his face, before saying abruptly: “Well, this is a lot to process, for sure. I’m going to put on some coffee and let you guys talk.”</p><p>“Thank you, Sam,” said the angel, who was no longer an angel, judging by the five o’clock shadow on his jaw and the tired splotches under his eyes and the goddamn knitted sweater. </p><p>As Sam and Eileen hurried away, Cas finally, <i>finally,</i> looked up again. Dean inhaled sharply through his nose, drinking in the sight of those startingly blue eyes, and every line and wrinkle of that familiar face.</p><p>“So, you’re back,” he said eventually, surprised at the steadiness of his voice.</p><p>“Yes, I’m back,” said Cas.</p><p>“And you’re human?”</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>“Since when?” Dean couldn’t account for the harshness seeping into his words. He knew that the normal thing to do would be to pull Cas into a hug, like Sam would, and tell him that it was good to see him, and crack a joke about poor reception in Heaven. Maybe a manly pat on the back. But he couldn’t stop his hands trembling, even after he had tucked away his dagger, and he felt somehow rooted to the spot, as if moving would pull everything loose within him.</p><p>“Very recently. A few days.”</p><p>“Okay. I see.” Dean convinced his jellified legs to walk forward, suddenly needing immediate reassurance that this was real, that Cas was actually there, flesh and blood before him. He made a move to embrace him but stopped short, and instead ended up laying a heavy hand on Cas’ shoulder, clapping it awkwardly.</p><p>“So what happened?” Dean asked, clearing his throat. “You got kicked out of Heaven?”</p><p>“Something like that.” Cas walked over to the table and sat down wearily. Dean followed close, his steps synchronal, as if some invisible string tethered them to each other. “I disobeyed God’s commandments,” Cas continued, in a low voice that seemed colored by sadness, and something else that Dean couldn’t name.</p><p>“So what, he threw you out? That kid messed up plenty of times but we didn’t kick him to the curb for that!" He was feeling indignant on Cas’ behalf.</p><p>“No, no, it wasn’t like that,” replied Cas seriously. “Jack understood me, maybe better than I understood myself. I can’t seem to let go of humanity, so he… suggested I join you.”</p><p>“So you’re just human now? Forever?”</p><p>“Well, not forever,” Cas said, smiling a little. “That’s sort of the point. I will live out my human years, and then I will die.”</p><p>“Harsh deal.” Dean nodded slowly, still unable to wrap his head around the whole thing. That Cas was standing before him, altogether human. “So, you’re staying?”</p><p>“Yes, I will remain human. It was a one-way ticket.” They were both silent a moment before Cas continued: “I’m sorry that I didn’t answer you, Dean. Like I told Sam, we… were discouraged from communicating with humans.”</p><p>“No worries, man. I’m just happy you’re back.” Suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling of it, thinking to himself that <i>happy</i> was the understatement of the fucking century, Dean finally pulled in Cas for a hug. He held him close, despite feeling his friend stiffen slightly in his grip, and buried his face against Cas' shoulder to hide the tears that were inexplicably welling up in his eyes, and breathed in the scent of him, the scent of coming home.</p><p>“I’m very pleased to be back here with you, as well,” murmured Cas, finally relaxing a bit into the embrace. “It’s been hard, staying away.”</p><p>Dean knew that the time for a normal, friendly hug had passed and that he should back off, give the poor guy some space, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, not yet.</p><p>When he finally let up, Cas wouldn’t meet his gaze, eyes flickering resolutely over the various bookshelves in the room.</p><p>“I’ve located an empty apartment a couple miles away,” Cas said after another moment of the strange, tense silence. “So I will be close by if you need me for anything. Of course, I’m not going to be much use to you anymore, I’m afraid,” he added apologetically. “No angel juice left, as you'd say. But in whatever manner I can help, I am yours.”</p><p>He blushed profusely at this, as if suddenly realizing how it sounded. Dean marveled at the sight of it. He couldn’t remember ever seeing Cas blush. It was like watching a sunrise slowly whisper over a lake late in the fall.</p><p>“I mean, all of you,” Cas supplied quickly. “Whatever you guys need.”</p><p>“Well, superpowers or not, you’re still one badass hunter,” Dean said and Cas smiled at him gratefully.</p><p>“That’s very kind, Dean.”</p><p>For the past year he had grieved Cas quietly, refusing to give in to the kind of violent despair he had wallowed in the previous times Cas had died, but still dreaming every night of his blessed face eaten up by swirling, sickly darkness. The only thing keeping Dean afloat was the stubborn hope that the angel was finally back where he belonged, brought home by Jack, even if that meant that he was lightyears beyond Dean’s reach. But now he was actually here, in a physical body, close enough to touch. It was too much to deal with.</p><p>“But what’s this crap about an apartment?” he demanded, suddenly realizing what Cas had said. "We’ve got plenty of rooms here. There are still monsters out there, you know, and many of them would love the chance of chewing on a former angel.” Even if this was a bit of an exaggeration, Dean felt uncomfortable at the idea of Cas out there on his own. Besides, Cas was family. He belonged with them.</p><p>“I didn’t want to presume… I mean, after the last time.” Cas shrugged sheepishly. It took a moment for Dean to catch his meaning. His chest clenched painfully with guilt as he remembered that horrible day, years ago, when he had been forced to throw Cas out of the bunker, hungry and fragile and newly human, in order to save his brother’s life.</p><p>“I didn’t want you to leave then, you know that. I had no choice.” Dean realized that he sounded defensive. He drew a deep breath and continued more composedly: “You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you like, Cas. Of course you are.” Cas still looked uncertain, however, and Dean felt desperately like he was losing him, only to something a lot more human and a lot more complicated than the Empty. Fuck, this was hard.</p><p>“Look, Cas,” he said, holding his gaze as steadily as he could, trying to convey all the things he couldn’t put words to, all the deep things that were rooted inside him and had been growing there, so quietly and softly, for so many years, that he didn’t know how to bring them to light. “We want you to stay here. I want you to stay. I honestly don’t think I can stand losing you again.”</p><p>Cas’ face softened, and he took Dean’s calloused hand in his and pressed it gently. </p><p>“Alright, Dean. I’ll stay.”</p><p></p><div>
  <p> *** </p>
</div><p>A cry pierced the stillness as the seagulls circulated ahead. The murmur of reeds and soft whisper of the waves were gently lapping at Dean’s bruised soul, telling him to let go of his fears, his constant struggle. For the first time since Cas got swallowed by the Empty, he could relax into the knowledge that this was real, Cas was back with him, and they were all safe.</p><p>“This, right here,” said Dean, closing his eyes against the afternoon sun. “You, me, and a lake full of fish. This is the good life.”</p><p>Cas only hummed in reply, but Dean knew he was smiling.</p><p>They had been together a lot for the past few weeks, although both careful not to mention any of the dangerous topics that weighed almost constantly on Dean’s mind: Heaven, the Empty, what Cas had said, what Dean hadn’t. It was Sam’s idea that they both go fishing today, since Dean had taken it upon himself to show Cas all the "human stuff", every trivial everyday thing that he could think of, everything he hadn’t done for Cas the last time around.</p><p>The day was warm for this time of year, but Cas got cold easily now, so he was wearing one of Dean’s old plaid jackets on top of another knitted sweater. Dean had no idea where he got those sweaters from, but he liked them. They were dorky and nice. Like Cas.</p><p>“Dean.” Cas' voice was hushed but determined, a steely undercurrent that Dean couldn’t ignore. He sighed deeply and reluctantly opened his eyes. “Dean, we should talk. I know you don’t want to, but I think it would be good to… clear the air.”</p><p>“The air seems plenty clear to me,” Dean answered cheerfully, stubbornly trying to keep the carefree mood of this day going for as long as possible. Cas gave him a pointed look, like a stern school teacher. “Alright, alright, sure. Let’s talk.”</p><p>He sat up next to his friend, his stomach in knots. Cas started to speak.</p><p>“I want to tell you, Dean, that I meant everything I said that day. I love this world, because of you. Because you’re caring and selfless and good. Jack knew that what I really wanted was to live alongside you, and that’s why he told me to go. But I also want you to know that I don’t expect anything to change between us.”</p><p>Dean’s mouth was parchment-dry, like he had just eaten an entire crusty old Men of Letters book. Before he could even begin to figure out how to answer that, Cas spoke again.</p><p>“I have always been content with this. Driving around with you, going hunting with you. Listening to your rock music. Watching you eat burgers.” Cas smiled a little. “I'm happy that I get to live out my human life like this. Going fishing with you. Watching movies with Sam and Eileen. Eating and enjoying the taste of things.” He gestured to their simple packed lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. “I just hope you know that I’m not trying to change things between us, Dean. When I told you I loved you, I just... I just wanted you to know. That you are loved. That you have always been loved. But I’m not expecting anything other than what we have.”</p><p>Dean clenched his jaw. This feeling inside of him, whatever it was, some salty mixture of yearning and anger, an ache so familiar that seemed almost a part of him, closed off his every thought and he snapped:</p><p>“And what exactly is it that we have, if you wouldn’t mind filling me in?” </p><p>How could Cas be so damn sure what they were to each other, when Dean had spent the past decade of his life trying to figure that out?</p><p>Cas was quiet, perhaps realizing that Dean had more things to say, if only given space to fill; that he had not been allowed to speak, not then and not since, and that the silence was eating away at him.</p><p>“Alright, Cas, you want to talk about that day? I’ll talk. You told me all those things, that I was so great and wonderful, sun shining out of my ass, and then, the next moment, you had disappeared from the face of the Earth. I couldn’t answer you. I couldn’t even say goodbye. And I felt like shit for months, drinking myself to sleep every night so that I wouldn't see it on repeat whenever I closed my eyes. I was so angry that you had the gall to sacrifice yourself for me <i>again,</i> and that you told me those things, said that you loved me, and then still left me.” Cas looked stricken, and made an attempt to reach out his hand, but Dean got to his feet and started walking furiously back and forth: “And I really did try to move past it, you know. I thought the best way to honor you, to honor your memory, was to live my life as fully as possible. Enjoy the little things.”</p><p>“And you were right,” Cas entreated. He had also risen, standing very still and watching Dean earnestly throughout his little monologue. “That’s all I wanted for you.”</p><p>“Yeah, but you never considered what <i>I</i> wanted, did you? I missed you so goddamn much, Cas, and even in Heaven I couldn’t find you. I had to hear from Bobby, of all people, that you were there. Why didn’t you come see me?”</p><p>Cas tilted his head at him, in that quintessential Cas gesture. He looked sad.</p><p>“I wasn’t in Heaven when you got there, Dean, or I would of course have welcomed you. I was… away at the time.”</p><p>“I thought the angels weren’t allowed to leave?”</p><p>Cas looked distinctly shifty all of a sudden. “We weren’t. I only left that one time. By the time I got back to Heaven you were… um, no longer there.”</p><p>That’s when it clicked into place, and Dean felt incredibly stupid for not realizing it sooner. Cas had been thrown out of Heaven for breaking God’s commandments, right after Dean had mysteriously been brought back to life. And what was Jack’s number one rule? <i>Don’t mess with humans.</i></p><p>“So it was you, then? You brought me back.”</p><p>“Yes.” Cas gave an odd little half-shrug. He was looking out at the stillness of the lake, carefully avoiding Dean’s stare. “Sam prayed to me that night, told me you were hurt. I guided your soul back into your body only seconds after your heart stopped, and I used only enough grace to heal the worst of the damages to your internal organs, trying to interfere the barest minimum... I didn’t even let Sam see me, but to Jack it was proof that I was still too involved in your lives. But I couldn’t have acted differently, Dean. I love you too much.”</p><p>Dean gripped Cas’ hand in his, tightly.</p><p>“So you saved me from Hell, from Purgatory, and now from Heaven.”</p><p>“You saved yourself from Purgatory, Dean.” Cas’ voice was shaky.</p><p>“I wouldn’t have made it in there if it wasn’t for you. You’re always saving me.” Dean lifted the hand, touching the knuckles softly to his lips, and Cas drew a sharp breath. His teal-blue eyes looked searchingly, disbelievingly, at Dean. “I’m not good at this stuff. I honestly never thought I would be around this long, and it’s always been about the next job, the next hunt, the next crisis to avert. But now that life is coming to an end, and I don’t know how to do this next part. All I know is that I need you in it.” He huffed out a sardonic laugh. “Maybe you’re content with driving around, eating burgers. But I don’t think that’s enough for me anymore, Cas. Even if <i>your</i> love is all saintly and pure...”</p><p>“It’s not,” Cas interrupted, his voice even hoarser than usual. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed. “It’s never been, um. Pure.”</p><p>“It’s not?” Dean’s face slowly split in a cocky grin, holding Cas' gaze fast, again marveling at the sight of the blush creeping over his neck.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Dean held that beloved face, rough from stubble, in his hands.</p><p>“As your official guide to all things human, then, I could show you some things. If you want.”</p><p>Cas nodded with a crooked half-smile, his eyes so full of love and awe that Dean felt like his heart might burst.</p><p>“I’d like that,” he said. “Very much.”</p><p>Dean had always wondered what it would be like to kiss an angel, feeling its immortal grace thrumming through you, all that celestial power. He never found out, because Cas' mouth was a human mouth now, and the tongue that flitted hesitantly along his upper lip was human, and the scratchy beard that grazed Dean’s chin was human, and the strong hand that gripped his neck – and the other one which fit itself perfectly over his left shoulder, causing him to whimper something unintelligibly into Cas’s mouth – were human hands. But around that time he realized that he hadn’t really wanted to kiss an angel, he had only wanted to kiss Castiel, and so he did.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope there aren't too many glaring factual mistakes, I tried to make it as canon compliant as possible, but I haven't actually watched season 15 yet lol (except through Tumblr osmosis).</p><p>The title is from Hozier's <i>From Eden</i> (because every song is a deancas song if you listen hard enough).</p><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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